Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Your Next Corporate Event:
Face it. Your next corporate event will most likely be boring. You can distract your people with ice sculptures, logo gift bags and exquisite food, but these high-end perks send the wrong message: I am willing to spend your holiday bonus right under your nose!
You Need A Professional Host
As a professional myself, the information I am about to give you is worth millions! 1 Here are the 3 acceptable “professionals” that are perfect for your next gathering:
The Corporate Master of Ceremonies is dashing, quick witted and at ease knowing he can leave at the end of the day. Even the title “Corporate Master of Ceremonies” makes your event sound more important!
The Corporate Emcee is very similar to the Corporate Master of Ceremonies. It's just a shorter phrase. It saves you time. Time equals money. That money should be passed on to the Corporate Emcee.
The Corporate Host is much like the Corporate Emcee and Master of Ceremonies. Host is an even quicker way to say it. Less time. More money saved. Savings, plus added money for saving so much time goes to me.
Typical Questions
Q: Do I really need outside help? Why can’t I just use Doug from HR? He’s so funny!
A: The funniest person in your company is not actually funny. He/she merely stands out for their willingness to be odd or needy. In ancient medieval corporate times, they would be the first ones killed during a witching ceremony. Do you really want a witch hosting your next event? 2
Common Spending Mistakes
Motivational Speakers – They tell you how they inspired themselves and your people feel worse by comparison. Not everybody “CAN” do it. Now your people will realize they can’t.
B-List Celebrities –Words of wisdom from the “wacky neighbor” of a 1980’s sitcom will not help your company surge to 4th Quarter success.
Clowns – No one has ever had a childhood nightmare about a Corporate Emcee living under the bed and trying to kill them. 3
Bonus Advice!
Having a Corporate Emcee is a great way to save money and still add value to your entire event. Want to save even more money? Here are some alternative ideas you won’t find anywhere else:
- Open bar /Cash bathroom! Let “nature‘s call” be your collection officer.
- Roommates. No better way for your workers to bond (and multiply), then to sleep 6 to a hotel bed.
- Count employees’ time at the event as “missed days” of work and don’t pay them.
Conclusion
Want to reign in the spending but still look like a hero? Shrink your event costs and hire a Corporate Comedian as Master of Ceremonies, Emcee or Host. Statistics clearly show that hiring a “professional” to host your next event will have a greater impact on your company. 4 Remember to put your faith in someone who enjoys hearing himself talk about companies he knows little about. You just might learn something!5
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
1 -This dollar figure was determined by taking the total amount of money I have received for this information ($0.00) and then adding the word “millions” to it!
2 -If you do, I have a witch costume.
3 - “The People vs. James P. Connolly” attempted murder conviction currently under appeal.
4 - “Fabricating Statistics” by James P. Connolly.
5 - Any learning that takes place during the event is purely coincidental.
You Need A Professional Host
As a professional myself, the information I am about to give you is worth millions! 1 Here are the 3 acceptable “professionals” that are perfect for your next gathering:
The Corporate Master of Ceremonies is dashing, quick witted and at ease knowing he can leave at the end of the day. Even the title “Corporate Master of Ceremonies” makes your event sound more important!
The Corporate Emcee is very similar to the Corporate Master of Ceremonies. It's just a shorter phrase. It saves you time. Time equals money. That money should be passed on to the Corporate Emcee.
The Corporate Host is much like the Corporate Emcee and Master of Ceremonies. Host is an even quicker way to say it. Less time. More money saved. Savings, plus added money for saving so much time goes to me.
Typical Questions
Q: Do I really need outside help? Why can’t I just use Doug from HR? He’s so funny!
A: The funniest person in your company is not actually funny. He/she merely stands out for their willingness to be odd or needy. In ancient medieval corporate times, they would be the first ones killed during a witching ceremony. Do you really want a witch hosting your next event? 2
Common Spending Mistakes
Motivational Speakers – They tell you how they inspired themselves and your people feel worse by comparison. Not everybody “CAN” do it. Now your people will realize they can’t.
B-List Celebrities –Words of wisdom from the “wacky neighbor” of a 1980’s sitcom will not help your company surge to 4th Quarter success.
Clowns – No one has ever had a childhood nightmare about a Corporate Emcee living under the bed and trying to kill them. 3
Bonus Advice!
Having a Corporate Emcee is a great way to save money and still add value to your entire event. Want to save even more money? Here are some alternative ideas you won’t find anywhere else:
- Open bar /Cash bathroom! Let “nature‘s call” be your collection officer.
- Roommates. No better way for your workers to bond (and multiply), then to sleep 6 to a hotel bed.
- Count employees’ time at the event as “missed days” of work and don’t pay them.
Conclusion
Want to reign in the spending but still look like a hero? Shrink your event costs and hire a Corporate Comedian as Master of Ceremonies, Emcee or Host. Statistics clearly show that hiring a “professional” to host your next event will have a greater impact on your company. 4 Remember to put your faith in someone who enjoys hearing himself talk about companies he knows little about. You just might learn something!5
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
1 -This dollar figure was determined by taking the total amount of money I have received for this information ($0.00) and then adding the word “millions” to it!
2 -If you do, I have a witch costume.
3 - “The People vs. James P. Connolly” attempted murder conviction currently under appeal.
4 - “Fabricating Statistics” by James P. Connolly.
5 - Any learning that takes place during the event is purely coincidental.
Corporate Client List
A seasoned Corporate Entertainer, James has worked with some of the largest companies in the world and the biggest names in show business. Below are just a few of the growing list of satisfied customers:
Alza Corporation
Abbott Laboratories
Aramark Uniformed Services
Blue Cross
Blue Shield
BP
Braun
Budweiser
Canon
Castrol
Coca Cola
Del Monte
Duracel
Elite Meetings Alliance
Ernest & Julio Gallo
Foster Farms
Fox Sports West
Frito Lay
Fuji Film
General Mills
Gillette
Glaxo Smith Kline
GTE
Hallmark
Hitachi
Juniper Networks
Kimberley Clark
LA Times
Lexus
LifeScan
Lozier Corporation
Lucent Technologies
Mentor Graphics
Mission Foods
Motorola
Nabisco
NAWLA
Oil-Dri
Oklahoma Association of Electric Cooperatives
Oral B
Old Republic Home Protection
One Legacy
Pepsi Cola
Phillips Medical Systems
Proctor and Gamble
Royal Caribbean Cruises
Siemens
Time Warner
Toyota
TruGreen Landcare
UCSF Medical Center
Volkswagen
MILITARY
Bethesda Medical Center
Joint OPS Command IRAQ
Marine Corps Scholarship Foundation
Walter Reed Medical Center
Alza Corporation
Abbott Laboratories
Aramark Uniformed Services
Blue Cross
Blue Shield
BP
Braun
Budweiser
Canon
Castrol
Coca Cola
Del Monte
Duracel
Elite Meetings Alliance
Ernest & Julio Gallo
Foster Farms
Fox Sports West
Frito Lay
Fuji Film
General Mills
Gillette
Glaxo Smith Kline
GTE
Hallmark
Hitachi
Juniper Networks
Kimberley Clark
LA Times
Lexus
LifeScan
Lozier Corporation
Lucent Technologies
Mentor Graphics
Mission Foods
Motorola
Nabisco
NAWLA
Oil-Dri
Oklahoma Association of Electric Cooperatives
Oral B
Old Republic Home Protection
One Legacy
Pepsi Cola
Phillips Medical Systems
Proctor and Gamble
Royal Caribbean Cruises
Siemens
Time Warner
Toyota
TruGreen Landcare
UCSF Medical Center
Volkswagen
MILITARY
Bethesda Medical Center
Joint OPS Command IRAQ
Marine Corps Scholarship Foundation
Walter Reed Medical Center
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
